Saturday, February 02, 2019

Reading

Assalamualaikum...

There's been a debate recently on Primary 1 literacy in Singapore eversince an educator vent out her emotions on social media regarding parents who do not spend reading time with their child.

Firstly & foremost, dont and never ever vent your unhappiness or anger online. Because they way she phrase it is so judgemental and netizens will tend to take it the hard way.

For a 7 year old kid in Singapore, you are expected to read, write & spell. 20 plus years ago, I remember that at that age we just start to learn how to write leh... not even spelling, let alone reading. Must be super stressful kids nowdays. No wonder la there's many enrichment classes & tuiton centres being set up.

I am a mother of a 3 years old son who is turning 4 soon. I am amazed of my son wide english vocabulary, his capability to remember thing & his joy for reading. He can spell 3 to 4 letter words and fill up a missing letter to a missing word. Do I read to my son? Yes, since he was 3 months old. But not because I expected him to catch up in the rat race. I am not a kiasu parent. My intention was to see his reaction when I read to him. He naturally loves it whenever I read to him or when he sees books. He will smile & go "goo-ga". Babbling.

When he started to walk, I brought him to the library. He sees it as heaven. He will took several books and diligently read by himself. He will ask me if he doesnt know. His loves for reading is not only e
in English language but Malay too. Every month, I will borrow library books for him and bought flashcards. By 3 years old he can read in sentence.

I didnt force, punished or threathen him into reading. When he was toddler I expose him to many things like going to a playground, art & crafts, music, dancing & toys. But it was very obvious that his favorite was reading. He reads when he wakes up, anytime of the day, asking me to buy books &  he always look through the bookshelf compare to his toy box.

Yes, I may be lucky that my son has a natural joy of reading. Now it is just is writing skills development which he struggles. But I never ever compare my child capability with other kids. That's just not right. Expecting a child to be like other kids is like we are producing robots instead of talents.

If the child cant read by the age of 7, its okay. Every child have their own learning journey. Some graduate by the age of 18, some graduate by the age of 32 like my husband but we are still doing well in life. I was a repeated poly student, twice but I dont feel ashame about it. In fact, I really dont use my diploma to look for a job. Because I want to learn while working.

I took low pay but it gets higher over the years because I learn and pick up things quickly hands on. I am a independent self learner when someone give a task to me, I will look for a learning resource myself. To me, thats how you succeed in the working world. School only spoon feed you and expect you to be like everyone else.

You see but everyone do well in school. What's most important is that everyone has to do well in life. Bringing up a child with a good character is more important than bringing up a smart child.

Every single day I am very thankful to have not only a smart child, but a child who speaks with kind words & have good manners.

So dont stress too much on this debate issue. What should be debate is how the child "survive" after graduation.

Thursday, December 27, 2018

The gift & amanah

Dear Syawal, 



I can't believe that you will finally be  a big brother next year! Ibu will really going to miss this time wih you where I could just focus on you only - gave my fullest attention, bring you everywhere anywhere with ease, having 1to1 talk before bed, mother&son bonding activites and lots more. Having you was and will always be my greatest joy. 

When I found out that I was having a boy, I always pictured that it is going to be hair-wrestling moments with full of tantrums, running around & being in tearful stressful situations that I'm afraid I couldn't handle. You know they said "boys are meant to be boys".

But after raising u for more than 3 years, you are totally the opposite character. A soft-hearted son who rarely raise his voice, never laid hands to anyone, easy to control, full of empathy, express yourself with kind words and there's many more of you that I am greatful for. 

I am certain that you are going to be a sweet caring brother & set good examples to your sibling. Everyday I am thankful that Allah has given me this amanah & anugerah to have you in my life. Alhamdulillah...

Last but not least, I am blessed to have my family in law who is extremely helpful in looking after you and bring so much love & kindness. 

Right now, I will just enjoy this smooth pregnancy & seize every moment with you before a family of 3 become 4.


For this 2nd pregnancy, I hope to go through natural labour w/o epidural and really2 watch what I eat during confinement. 2 more months to go...for the sleepless night!

Saturday, March 03, 2018

Parenting style

Assalamualaikum...

The joy of motherhood cannot be describe in words. At the age of 30, being a mother of one 3year old son is a blessing. Sometimes, i do wish i was a mother at a younger age because having a child opens up a different perpective meaning of life.

As you grow older, looking after you gets easier. Not that is he fully independent but he has developed a personality that makes me feel as bersyukur. In terms of discipline, he will listen to me. He does not do it out of fear, but out of love. When i said pls kemas after main. He will do because all he wants is a praise. I praise him a lot even though it's a small thing. Because I believe this motivates a child to do better.

Then things go wrong, I hardly raise my voice or punished him. Why? Because what will you get from your child? A loud scream & continous crying. For example, when I warned him not to jump on bed but he still insist, I told him to be careful. When he fall from bed, I asked are you okay? And told him that this is the reason why I've warned earlier. Believe me, the child wont do it again. Because he understand the impact. What for you punished a child after he fell? He will not understand.

Another example, when Syawal accidentally spill his drink or drew on the floor. I praised him thay it's a beautiful drawing but it will be more beautiful on paper. I got him a towel & tell him to wipe it off.

When the child is under 7 years old, they are hunger for attention & praise. Let it be a main motivator for disciplince.

As he is now going 3 years old, he developed this sweet personality of a son. When i fake my fall, he asked, "ibu u ok?" When he wants something, he said, "ibu please.. please" followed by "thank you" when he received it. He will immediate wipe anything that he spill without me asking. Even when my hair came out from my tudung, he will use his hand to tuck it in.

It not that Im self-praising myself that my parenting style done right. But I've always reaf parents sort of complaining that their child misbehaviour in the Facebook group feed. What made me more worried is that it is now common to be a "weekend parent". Meaning they only see their child on weekend. How on earth are you going to control a child twice a week??

I hope that Syawal when he grows up, he wont grow up because of fear. Fear of being punish. Fear of failure. Fear of what people would say. I just want him to stay positive in life in whatever challenges he is facing. Amin...

Friday, January 19, 2018

Pre-nursery


Assalamualaikum...

Syawal has went to pre-nursery this year! The first week was tough as he has the loudest & continuous crying at school. I felt so guilty at that point of time. Thinking that he is not ready for school.

However things get better after the 1st week. No more tears and he seems to enjoy going to school. Everytime he went out of classroom,  he will sing the song that he learn. Mandarin Language lesson was taught in school & he picked it up quickly. He will asked us, "ni how?"
Haha..

Well, his social skills with friends of his age has improved. Got girl-friend!!! Haha. Always with this one & only malay girl named Dalisha.

Yesterday, he came home from school with a small red bump on his forehead. His grandma asked him what happened? We were surprised that he explained very well..
Grandma: Kenapa ada lebam ni?
Syawal: Sakit.
Grandma: Syawal jatuh ke.
Syawal: Tak. Play ball.
Grandma: Oo.. ball kena kepala? Siapa buat?
Syawal: Dalisha...

Hmmm.. kalau dalisha throw ball kat forehead tak nangis eh. Eh leh..

Haha. He usually wont tell what happened in school tapi kalau pasal Dalisha pandai eh Syawal story.

I just feel sad sometimes because I dont get the opportunity to send & fetch him from school. It's always the grandma or my husband who is on shift work. While I'm working office hrs at 8.30 & his sch starts at 9.

Nevertheless, Im so glad that he has adjust to school & no regrets for me!

Saturday, November 11, 2017

2.5 years

Assalamualaikum...

The last I posted was more than a year back. Syawal development is way different then the last post as he is now 2years 6months old. He talks a lot & a very hyperactive kid with a memory that is like a sponge. He absorb things very fast. He just needs the word to be repeated 5 times and he can remember it. Even an incident or promise. If you promise to give him something & u lied or forgot about it, he will keep asking even the next next next day.. haha. He can sings some of the nursery rhymes and forever wants to joget when he hears music
. Hari-hari mesti nak berpeluh. 

His favourite toys is definitely vehicles and soft toys. He knows what is a taxi, a truck (container truck, garbage truck), bulldozer, buggy, limo, caravan, excavator, different types of cars... so on. He owns everyone of them. He loves soft toys since he was a baby. He will chuckle everytime he saw a teddy bear.  Even now he wants to sleep with soft toys Didi Nana JoJo Mr Bean Bear Nila Teddy & Squirrel. Haha... he knows all the name hor. He will pretend to put them to bed..kisses them..let them sit.. stand. Both of his grandparents definitely dislike him playing with softoys as they said, it is meant for girls. To me, it shows he has a soft heart for empathy. He does not throw them or "beat" them. Rather than I give him violent toys like toyguns or toy knife. He doesnt like them. In fact he does not even look or touch it when we brought him to the toy store. 

He's definitely a mummy's boy. Everytime I come home from work, he has the widest smile on his face & invite me to play with him. If I'm at work,  out of the blue he will ask his nenek, "mana ibu?"  Its a must for him to sleep on my tummy at night. 

This doesnt mean Syawal is a prefect child. He does has tantrums like every other two years old. But I had never ever scold or shouted at him. To me its a never ending episode if a child shout at you & you shouted back. Because he understand words now, I'll talk to him. For example, saying sorry if you hit someone. Hug and kiss after that. If he wants something that I dont want to give it, I will distract him..if it doesnt work, i will just let him cry. It doesnt mean i ignore him. It means that not everything u want you can have. If he ask for something, I will tell him to ask nicely first... he will say, "please ibu.." when he got it, he will say, "thank you ibu!" 

Teaching him good manners & empathy is my number 1 priority. What for I have a smart child but a sombong attitude? Because he learns well now, our grandparents said he should go uni. Well, my response is I dont care if he end up being a repeat student or school drop out because I've repeated 2 years in poly & my husband was a poly drop out but we still do well in life. Nevertheless I still respect our parents views. 

Having Syawal is like having hari raya everyday. Haha. Coz Im so happy to see him. Always looking forward to spend time with him after work. My husband & I do think of having no. 2 but I just want to have more 1to1 time with Syawal.. Next year he's going to school & we'll see if no.2 is going to happen...